Writer's Block
When you stare at the blank page and tell yourself that you have nothing to say -- that you just can’t write, you are telling yourself a big, fat lie. It simply isn’t true. The truth is that everyone has something important to say and is capable of writing well. What is also true is that certain skills are needed. But before we get to the skills, let’s talk about the fear. Fear lies at the heart of every problem.
Cheer up, we all live in fear. We live in fear of being less than, fear of being judged, fear of being unloved or unlovable, the list goes on, but what we mostly fear is being alone. The truth is you are not alone.
Others have struggled to write before, and others will struggle after you. Most importantly, all over the world others are struggling right now. The trick is to breathe. The ancient practice of Tonglen, can help.
Do this: inhale slowly and focus on your struggle or your worry and then wish good things for yourself. Next: exhale and focus on all those out there in the world (even in your home, neighborhood, city, or country) who also struggle and worry, and wish for good things for them too! At once you are in a community of others, no longer alone. Problem solved.
Better?
Now you are surrounded by thousands of others who are staring at the blank page just like you. But you are still frozen; you still can’t think of where to start, you don’t know what to say. This is the fear of perfectionism. Fear has told you that if you write something lousy, everyone will figure out how dumb you really are. But hold on, fear is about to tell you an even bigger lie. Not only are you not smart enough, or good enough, you just aren’t one of those people who are good at writing. Well, now your fear has convinced you to quit before you have even tried!
The antidote is exposure.
As you become more exposed to writing, your own and others, you will fear it less and crave the magical experience of writing more. You will begin to understand the importance of saying whatever it is you have to say it, in the way that only you can say it.
Now, having writer’s block is also a sort of an emotional problem -- a problem of being too sensitive. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings. Emotionally sensitive people tend to be very sensitive to criticism. So, if that sounds like you, by all means, use emotional crutches to help you through.
Think of the patient being discharged from the hospital after foot surgery. Crutches are needed to help the patient walk initially, until they are strong enough to walk alone. It doesn’t matter whether they needed surgery because they had a car accident, an infection, or a careless fall. It doesn’t even matter if they were born that way, they cannot walk well enough and they need assistance. So does the student with writers’ block.
Go ahead and use crutches.
Stream your favorite music, grab a lemonade or hot cocoa, and slide into your favorite, old sweatpants. I mean, get comfortable. Adorn your writing space with pictures of loved ones (or doodled on enemies!) Hang posters from vacations you loved, or places you want to see some day. Use quotes from writers that move or inspire you. Take your need and your comfort seriously. Do whatever it takes to make you feel loved and secure. And stop taking yourself so seriously!
Humility is the key.
Be honest about who you are. It’s who we all are — we need discipline. Pride and punishment will not help you gain discipline. Discipline is the by-product of the gentle accumulation of a new habit. To overcome your fear of writing, you have to write. The only way to do it is to do it! You need to limber up and then begin the work to strengthen your writing muscles.
Do this: Sit with a good pen and some paper and a clock or timer (or three songs) or whatever you can and begin. You write for that amount of time without stopping. You do not edit what you have written or ask yourself why you are writing it. You do not tell yourself that what you are writing is not right, you just write. This is free writing.
If it sounds simple, it is because it is.
It is the beginning of habit forming. All good habit formation begins with manageable, accomplishable tasks. In time you can work up to longer periods of time. In time you can invite a friend to free write with you. Eventually you will actually write on a specific topic. You free write to get used to writing.
Then you must revise. You must.
Don’t have that kind of time? Who does? But what choice do you have really? Everyone is doing it. You just need proof of that. The proof is other people’s writing. Ask to see it. Ask your friends. Ask everyone and anyone. You can find examples of drafts anywhere, but don’t look at anything instructional, it’s too polished. It is more helpful to see what real first drafts look like, what they really look like.
What you need is hope that it will get better.
You need to see the random thoughts, misspellings, half thoughts, run-ons, grammatical butchery, and self-flagellations that are real writing drafts. Real writing looks more like a wrestling match than a tennis game. As an example, here is how that sentence really looked when it was first written:
Writers need to see the rants, the stream-of-conscience writing with misspellings, no grammar, random thoughts, fears, bleedy, self-flagelations, and wrestemania that goes on.
You also need to be exposed to the greatest writers ever…and to read them.
Writers do things with words, sentences, and paragraphs that are really impressive. But writers don’t just impress, writers make us laugh and cry. They excite us and please us; they calm us and ease our fear and pain. Writers say what we need to hear. They are the real heroes; the ones who make us all feel a part of the human race. You know, not so alone. And it is because of this, they make life easier. After all, life is hard and we really need all the help we can get, don’t you think?
Oh, and you’ve also got to visit a zoo.
If there isn’t a zoo within walking distance, you may have to settle for a walk to the park, or around the block to the bakery, or a local car dealership. Staring at a blank page or blank screen is depressing. Nobody works well when they are depressed. If your mind has become stuck, unstick it by moving your body.
There is another breathing technique that can also help at this point. It is the “Lamaze” method. It starts with a long deep breath and is followed by slow, repetitive breathing to transport the mind to a focused, safe, and self-healing place in order to transcend a painful experience.
Writing can be a painful experience.
Upon returning to your writing, begin with a deep, cleansing breath that tells your body, “Pain is coming, but I can take it.” Believe you can. Remember all those out there with you, and begin…